CONDITION NOAH: APNEA ASS

You know what's hot about having sleep apnea and Gmail (which does not have flexible columns for e-mail)?

This:

For more on Sleep Apnea, visit the American Sleep Apnea Association Web site
For more on Google's Free E-mail service, visit Gmail.com

CLOTHES: T-SHIRT HELL

What was I thinking?

I received the T-Shirt Hell newsletter a week before I went to Disney World a few weeks ago. A new product, The Kermit Dissection, seemed fitting for MGM Studios, where they have a few Muppet attractions.

So, I had Pants snap a picture of me outside the Muppet 3D attraction. I decided to enter into the T-Shirt Hell Whores contest knowing full well that I probably would not win. Though, I suspected I would be at least a 2nd Rate Whore, a runner up.

Nothing doing. I'm an Unemployed Whore! It's not necessarily 3rd place. The page reads, "Come on people ... ever heard of the word creativity?" I've been shoved to the cut out bin.



Granted it's not the most flattering picture. I look like the evil love child of Drew Carey and Chris Farley. But come on!

PHONEY: MY RINGTONE

So when I call you all now on your cellulars, I hope you'll be hearin' this

FOOD STUFF: KETCHUP EATERS

I've shared this photo with some friends of mine. It absolutely kills me.


How much ketchup do you need Janesville? Photo taken at Woodman's Market

CLOTHES: MAYBE MY NEW SHIRT

Since I'm all about the quarterly updates at NoahBlog.com (ahem)... this should be my new shirt. Though, if you read that... I won't buy it.

FOOD STUFF: BLOGGING ABOUT FOOD AT WORK

I chose a scrumptious Pearson's Nut Roll for 50 cents today over a sweet, yet salty Snickers for 65 cents. Yet, the machine stole my money once again.

That's the most eloquent I can do for food provided at work (notwithstanding the last Friday of the month, known as "Pizza Friday"). Check out the note from Google's Executive Chef..

ROCK: NIN with QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

Saw Nine Inch Nails with Queens of the Stone Age last night at the Xcel Center in St. Paul, MN. Quick summary: QOTSA, you know the hits... they rock. The non-radio play material is passable. Though, they provided a well needed wall of pulsating sound. Gorgeous.

Nine Inch Nails: I saw them years ago. The tour with Marilyn Manson and the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow opening up. Admittedly, I was in an "industrial phase" and that show was fantastic. Fast forward damn near 10 years later... the songs stand up. "Terrible Lie" was song number two. It was easily a contemporary number. Same with "Head Like A Hole"... the songs stand up (with a bit of modern day tweaking - to prevent boredom). Go see this tour! Lights, effects... it's the full on show for your money.

FOOD: PIZZA HUT PAN PIZZA TURNS 25

I love pizza. It is the best food. I love it hot, I love it cold, I love it sitting out on the counter for 2 days. I love independent small pizza places best. Though, I don't mind a corporate pizza once in awhile, I'm eating cold leftovers as I type ... I'm not all... "pizzaier than thou" about it.

Long day yesterday, as usual. It's 7pm and it's decided to do what the the television ad said... Buy one large specialty pizza and get a pan pizza for a quarter.

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Ok, I'm from Janesville, WI... I remember 25 years ago. I remember the Pizza Hut bringing this to the masses. You couldn't get Pan Pizza, much less delivered Pan pizza anywhere back then. It was new, it was crazy, it was a different time.

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Though, it was a bit of a hassle... so, I e-mailed the local Pizza Hut franchise this morning. After re-reading it... I thought it was kind of funny, probably because I wrote it at 5am after just waking up ... so I'm sharing it.

>>>> email <<<<<
Hi.. this is long because I write like a teenage girl telling a story... I can't help it... but, I'm a 32 year old dude.

so last night, I call information and ask for the Pizza Hut on Central Ave NE in Minneapolis. Place my entire order and the gal says they don't deliver to me. Ok.. maybe Information put through to the wrong Pizza Hut

Fine. It's 5 minutes before TV watchin' for me and my wife. So, I run to the computer and punch up RSVPizza.com (which I guess is now PizzaHutMN.com) ... anyways, register my stuff and make my order. 1 large meatlovers and 1 medium pan pizza for a quarter with pepperoni and mushroom and a single order of buffalo wings... hit submit order and the site says there was a problem processing the order... call this number for the pizza hut on central ave ne.

So, I do.. and the same gal says we don't deliver to you... and I'm like, "lady, I'm 10 blocks away" and she's like, "let me ask the driver"... 2 minutes later, she's all, "we deliver to you ... sorry about that".

Fine. We're cuttin' into TV watchin time ... so I tell her I want the same thing I tried ordering online... large meat lovers, medium pan pizza for a quarter with pepperoni and mushroom and a single order of wings. She tells me that the Pan pizza for a quarter is one-topping only. "I will pay for mushrooms," I tell her. She said, it doesn't matter as if she puts mushrooms down, the computer will charge us full price for the pizza.

So now, I've missed the first 10 minutes of House MD on Fox... So, I tell her, ok, just pepperoni is fine.

The disappointing this is that what I could buy online, wasn't what I could buy at the same store. Also, disappointed that the phone gal told me twice they don't deliver, but I am literally 10 blocks away.

The positives... food did come quickly. Food was hot. The wings were fantastic. The pizza was .. pizza hut tasting pizza.

My username is "pshawnoah" on your web site... my address is above. I tried.

Also, do you hire drivers for only one-two nights per week?

- Noah